What does it mean to be a good human? What does it mean to be a good doctor? What does it mean to be a good patient? No one precisely knows because no one has found a way to show the exemplary model of being human in an infallible way. We are all fallible. Nevertheless, we all "feel" the inner moral compass that steers us in the direction of right and wrong. A moral compass helps us choose to help rather than ignore, build than destroy. This "steering wheel" of our decisions is mediated by empathy. Empathy is a choice we make, and empathy serves as a medium to give a choice to other humans. We should remember that we can care for other humans through empathy by giving them freedom of choice. I will look at empathy through choice through the lens of the book by Atul Gawande, "Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End" (2014).
Empathy through choice is one of the most potent instruments humans possess to help a fellow human being. Gawande looks at empathy through the lens of medicine and adds a layer of complexity to understanding empathy. He writes, "We’ve been wrong about what our job is in medicine. We think our job is to ensure health and survival. But really it is larger than that. It is to enable well-being" (p. 301, Gawande (2014)). This quote speaks directly to the notion of empathy through choice as a form of enabling well-being. The author makes a brave observation and contradicts popular belief about the role of medicine. Medicine is not only about surviving; it is about choosing how one wishes to survive. Gawande's carefully chosen words make the claim all the more stark. His voice seems distant as if someone would watch the whole endeavor of being a doctor from afar. The choice of tone is also deliberate; author delves into the pain of doctor's wrongdoing and not abstains from it, simultaneously showing enournmous empathy as a human being.
The choice of enabling stems from the core of humanity. In other words, doctors (just as all humans) may view the empathy in different ways and levels. Some of the examples of slightly different approach to enabling include "I’m ready," she said. He looked at her. She looked at him. And he understood. She was ready to die." (p.95, Gawande (2014)). This powerful statement tells the reader a lot about the patient’s intentions that the author had described in the book. Up to this point, the patient struggled, survived, and preserved. From now on, the patient took control of the narrative. It was a choice given by those around the patient. People around said patient showed respect to the situation they possibly could never understand unless they would have been in that precise position. That is the tragic irony of life. We never will understand what another person feels, but we may show them empathy for choosing how to interpret their feelings and act accordingly.
Interpretations may vary, but Gawande very skillfully uses the notion of being an enabler. Being an enabler could also mean enabling the truth and not withholding information whatsoever "We could never bring ourselves to discuss the larger truth about his condition or the ultimate limits of our capabilities, let alone what might matter most to him as he neared the end of his life" (p.15, Gawande (2014)). This quote shows a crucial caveat, where the health providers need not only to give a choice about life but also may show empathy through the choice of truth. The choice is often brutal and tragic; however, the most humane thing to do is present the patient with all the facts and let him decide. Ultimately, the patient and his well-being matter most - not the number of saved lives but the number of improved lives. There is a notion of helping as a form of prolonging life; we may need to ask ourselves at what point is the thin boarder between preserving life out of empathy and egoism. Empathy-driven life-preservation is much harder to achieve. It takes more courage from care-giver, more time nd is more person-centered; yet the outcome is improved well-being of the patient. Well-being, not only health (which is one pillar of wellbeing).
As Gawande points out, being a doctor and giving care is not only about numbers. It is about being human. It is connecting with another human being through suffering and pain. It is about staying in that pain with them and respecting their boundaries. Ultimately it is about caring enough to give a choice. Giving a choice is hard because we fear that the other person will not choose as we had hoped to. However, this is the ultimate definiton of love. To love we must be vulnerable. Choosing to do so in medical settings is extremely difficult. Nonethless, to be a healer, a doctor, one must heal the entire human, one must give love to that human, for the love can be a great healer on it's own.
Hippocrates, Jones, W. H. S., Withington, E. T., Potter, P., Smith, W. D., & Heraclitus, o. E. (1923). Hippocrates (Vol. 147-150.). London: Harvard University Press.
Empathy through choice is one of the most potent instruments humans possess to help a fellow human being. Gawande looks at empathy through the lens of medicine and adds a layer of complexity to understanding empathy. He writes, "We’ve been wrong about what our job is in medicine. We think our job is to ensure health and survival. But really it is larger than that. It is to enable well-being" (p. 301, Gawande (2014)). This quote speaks directly to the notion of empathy through choice as a form of enabling well-being. The author makes a brave observation and contradicts popular belief about the role of medicine. Medicine is not only about surviving; it is about choosing how one wishes to survive. Gawande's carefully chosen words make the claim all the more stark. His voice seems distant as if someone would watch the whole endeavor of being a doctor from afar. The choice of tone is also deliberate; author delves into the pain of doctor's wrongdoing and not abstains from it, simultaneously showing enournmous empathy as a human being.
The choice of enabling stems from the core of humanity. In other words, doctors (just as all humans) may view the empathy in different ways and levels. Some of the examples of slightly different approach to enabling include "I’m ready," she said. He looked at her. She looked at him. And he understood. She was ready to die." (p.95, Gawande (2014)). This powerful statement tells the reader a lot about the patient’s intentions that the author had described in the book. Up to this point, the patient struggled, survived, and preserved. From now on, the patient took control of the narrative. It was a choice given by those around the patient. People around said patient showed respect to the situation they possibly could never understand unless they would have been in that precise position. That is the tragic irony of life. We never will understand what another person feels, but we may show them empathy for choosing how to interpret their feelings and act accordingly.
Interpretations may vary, but Gawande very skillfully uses the notion of being an enabler. Being an enabler could also mean enabling the truth and not withholding information whatsoever "We could never bring ourselves to discuss the larger truth about his condition or the ultimate limits of our capabilities, let alone what might matter most to him as he neared the end of his life" (p.15, Gawande (2014)). This quote shows a crucial caveat, where the health providers need not only to give a choice about life but also may show empathy through the choice of truth. The choice is often brutal and tragic; however, the most humane thing to do is present the patient with all the facts and let him decide. Ultimately, the patient and his well-being matter most - not the number of saved lives but the number of improved lives. There is a notion of helping as a form of prolonging life; we may need to ask ourselves at what point is the thin boarder between preserving life out of empathy and egoism. Empathy-driven life-preservation is much harder to achieve. It takes more courage from care-giver, more time nd is more person-centered; yet the outcome is improved well-being of the patient. Well-being, not only health (which is one pillar of wellbeing).
As Gawande points out, being a doctor and giving care is not only about numbers. It is about being human. It is connecting with another human being through suffering and pain. It is about staying in that pain with them and respecting their boundaries. Ultimately it is about caring enough to give a choice. Giving a choice is hard because we fear that the other person will not choose as we had hoped to. However, this is the ultimate definiton of love. To love we must be vulnerable. Choosing to do so in medical settings is extremely difficult. Nonethless, to be a healer, a doctor, one must heal the entire human, one must give love to that human, for the love can be a great healer on it's own.
References:
Gawande, A. (2014). Being mortal : medicine and what matters in the end (First edition. ed.). New York: Metropolitan Books/Henry Holt and Company.Hippocrates, Jones, W. H. S., Withington, E. T., Potter, P., Smith, W. D., & Heraclitus, o. E. (1923). Hippocrates (Vol. 147-150.). London: Harvard University Press.